A Good Old Fashioned Shake-Up
Hello again, Dear Reader.
It looks like I’ve done it again… I’ve abandoned this blog and this website for far too long. I’m not one to shy away from admitting my mistakes and short-comings so I’m coming to you, hat in hand, to apologize and ask for a chance to redeem myself.
I won’t try to make excuses for myself, but I have been reflecting on all the things that kept me from writing and sharing here for so long and I guess the simple answer is that I was too pre-occupied. Since launching this website and blog in January 2018 I’ve gone through a massive amount of change; I’m sure we all have!
Here’s the TLDR version of what I’ve been up to since January 2018:
Relocated from Johannesburg, South Africa to Upstate New York, United States
Adopted a house wolf
Tried to acclimate to life in a completely new environment with no support system outside of my beloved husband
Worked in a bunch of different industries doing a bunch of different jobs (I’ll unpack this in much more detail soon because I think it’s important)
Tried to survive a global pandemic
Tried to do a lot of work on myself in terms of recognizing my white privilege and the ways in which I can make reparations within the BIPOC community
Tried to survive anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, body dysmorphia, and the general weight of living
Quit my job and went back to school for the first time in over a decade at 32 years of age to try to launch a completely new career path (I’ll unpack this in more detail too because it’s kinda a big deal)
Took the New York State Cosmetology Board Exams and got my Cosmetology License (might unpack this too since it could be helpful to some)
Started a new career as a small business owner and cosmetologist at the onset of yet another recession (which is terrifying because it seems like the odds are stacked against me here, and we’ll unpack this together too)
Tried my best to support the love of my life through one of the most difficult years of his life
I’m sure there’s more I was up to but I think you get the idea
Point is, we’ve all been on the struggle fucking bus, honeys. We could all stand to give each other and ourselves a little break and a lot of grace.
Every December, Squarespace sends me an email to remind me that my website will be renewed and the fees will be coming out of my account, and every year I’m like, “Damn, that time already? Wish I would’ve used the site more and posted more things to my blog!”. But last month when that email came through I really had to have a serious word with myself. Is a couple hundred dollars a year something I can afford to keep spending on something that I’m not making the most of? And after thinking about it, the answer was a resounding “no”. Now, as easy as it would’ve been to just delete this site and give up my domain name, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I really want to put in the work moving forward so that this December (and the next one and the one after that and so on) when Squarespace emails me about the renewal of CandiceSays.com, I feel proud of what I’ve poured into this and excited to keep going.
And before you ask; no, I’m not just on some “New Year, New Me” bullshit. I’m genuinely out here trying to bring the most authentic version of who I am to this space moving forward, and I’m going to be using this space a little differently than I have in years passed. CandiceSays.com will now be home to the online presence of my fledgling small cosmetology business, Candy Crush Hair, and I’ll be showcasing my portfolio and hopefully welcoming in plenty of new clients here.
I also hope to use this blog to share more, connect more, and interact more with you. But in order for that to work, I need you to feel comfortable enough to open up to me too. So, if something isn’t working or the content isn’t resonating with you, or you want to open up a dialogue about a particular topic, let’s chat about it. This is a safe space and as long as everyone is respectful and kind, everything should be figureoutable.
Okay, I think that’s a good stopping point for right now. I’m glad we were able to catch up some. I look forward to unpacking more with you very soon.
I thank you for being a reader of this blog, and a friend to this site. Stay safe and take care.
C
xo
