Short hair, don’t care!

So, it’s been almost a week since The Big Chop, and here are some things I’ve noticed:

1 People are so supportive.

Thank you to each and every person who has given my social media posts a like or share, or left positive comments and words of encouragement and support.

I think I realized how big this change is when I went to my favourite sushi place on Tuesday evening, and the lady behind the counter (who knows my order by heart because I go in every Tuesday and order the same thing every time!) was so excited to chat about my new, short hair. She was so chatty about it which was very sweet of her; bless her!

2 Short hair is super easy and low maintenance.

At least, it is for me. Maybe I’m just lucky to have quite straight hair that falls nicely in just about any style? But I really feel like this pixie cut is the easiest style I’ve ever had.

Not the best quality picture, but this was my easy peasy Sunday hairstyle

So, my first post-chop hair wash was on Sunday morning, and I was mindful to use about a quarter of the shampoo and conditioner I previously used on my long hair. It felt so weird not having a huge mop of hair to wash and rinse.

As all long-haired lasses will know, once you’ve rinsed your hair you’ll spend a considerable amount of time trying to rinse all the hair that’s fallen out off of your body. It often feels like so much hair’s fallen out that you’re actually quite surprised you still have any hair left on your head when you hop out of the shower! But I digress…

My hair wash and rinse, sans post-wash-and-rinse body rinse, was quick and easy! And instead of doing my usual ‘towel turban’ when I got out of the shower, I just ruffled my hair with a towel and clipped my fringe back so I could apply my moisturizer and make-up. By the time I was done putting my face on, my hair was just about dry. I gave it a super quick blast with the hairdryer and ruffled it around a bit until it fell nicely, and voila!

Easy peasy, lemon squeezy… What a dream.

3 Our partners have a huge influence on the choices we make around our appearance.

One of the most common responses I’ve received since The Big Chop is, ‘I couldn’t have such short hair’, and when I ask why, one of the two most common answers is, ‘My husband/fiancé/boyfriend doesn’t want me to/says I can’t cut my hair short because he likes me with long hair’ or, ‘My husband/fiancé/boyfriend will be upset if I cut my hair short because he says it’ll feel like he’s kissing a boy.’

This gets me all riled up for so many reasons, some of which include (but are not limited to):

a.     I feel like if your partner’s that controlling of you that they’re stopping you from taking charge of your own appearance, that’s probably not very healthy.

Should your partner have an opinion on your appearance? Sure.

Should they use this opinion to control you and what you do with your own body? Absolutely not.

b.     If your partner ‘only likes you’ a certain way, that doesn’t seem very healthy either. When you’re with the right person, they’ll love you no matter if you’ve got long hair, short hair, or no hair. Isn’t that what unconditional love is all about?

c.     If your partner (or any man you know) lacks that much confidence in his sexuality that being intimate with a woman with short hair makes him feel like he’s with a boy, then that issue lies with him, not you. You shouldn’t let his insecurities hold you back from making a change to your appearance that could leave you feeling happier and more empowered.

That being said, I know I’m exceptionally lucky to have a husband who loves me no matter what, and supports me in any adventure that’ll help me grow and make me happy as long as I’m not hurting anyone. I know there are women who don’t have partners like mine, which makes me all the more grateful for Bagel every day.

4 People underestimate their own bravery when it comes to their hair.

Every time someone says, ‘I couldn’t have such short hair!’, my first thought is, ‘Why the hell not?’, and the second most common answer to that questions is, ‘I’m not brave enough.’

So, some people really don’t have the hair, or shape of face for short hair. For instance, my sister-in-law has super curly hair, so a pixie cut probably wouldn’t work too well for her because she’d spend ages trying to tame her curls every morning. But if you have quite easy-to-manage hair, and your face is the right sort of shape for shorter hair, there’s no real reason you couldn’t try it out, but more often than not, fear’s the biggest thing holding you back.

Now, I’m not saying this is wrong. I totally get the hesitation! But something I realized the first time I chopped my locks to donate to CANSA back in 2014, and again last week, is that long hair can really become a ‘security blanket’, a comfort zone, or just something we keep around out of habit.

‘What if I don’t look nice with short hair? It will take so long to grow back. I’ll maybe think about cutting my hair when “X” happens.’

‘I’ve never had short hair, I wouldn’t know how to style it! Being able to just pull my hair into a pony is so easy.’

‘I’ve never thought of cutting my hair short, because I’ve always just had it long.’

I used to say these things too. But when I found my amazing therapist in 2014 and started working with her to find some coping mechanisms to help manage my depression, we realized that I’d been in a rut for a long time and I needed to change things up a bit. She suggested trying a new deodorant or shower gel to introduce new fragrances to uplift my mood, or cooking a few meals I’d never tried before to enjoy new flavours. But I decided to ‘go big’, and trim my locks from almost down to by bum into a choppy, bouncy bob. It felt incredible.

2014 was a really tough year for me; I broke up with a long-term boyfriend, had a lot of pressure at work, tried to get back into the dating game and got involved with a few not-nice guys, was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and really didn’t like myself all that much. When I cut my hair, it felt like I was letting go of a heaviness I’d been carrying around for a very long time.

After that, I really focused on myself and became my own best friend. It was a massive transformative experience, and I believe that was when I started thinking differently about the idea of beauty and what that means to me, instead of just accepting the traditional ideas of what beauty’s supposed to be.

I think movies and TV shows tend to promote long hair as a prerequisite for beauty. Long hair is really beautiful, but it’s certainly not the only, or even most important feature that makes someone look beautiful. I feel like short hair (especially on celebrities) is often labelled as ‘bold’, but seldom as ‘beautiful’. Why?

I mean, just look at some of these short and sassy ‘dos that inspired me when I was choosing a style for The Big Chop… they’re gorgeous!

Nobody rocks a pixie cut like Ginnifer Goodwin!

Julianne Hough's wispy style looks so laid-back.

Emma Watson's pixie cut was a fabulous transformation.

Scarlett Johansson looks gorgeous with long, flowing locks, and with this sassy 'do.

Carey Mulligan's wispy, girly pixie was probably my favourite inspo style.

Michelle Williams rocks this platinum pixie.

A sleek pixie with longer layers creates a classic and elegant style like Lily Collins's.

If you’ve always wanted to try a shorter style but haven’t yet found the courage to take the plunge, I hope this post has given you a little ‘bravery boost’. When in doubt, remind yourself that your hair isn’t Barbie hair; it will grow back after you’ve cut it, even if it grows back slowly.

If you’ve had a hair transformation of your own, or if you decide to chop off your locks after reading this, please share your story and a picture or two with me here. I’d love to see!

Have you been rocking a short ‘do for a while? Good for you! I hope this post has you feeling empowered.

Has anything led you to rethink beauty standards, and explore what beauty means to you recently? I’d love it if you shared your thoughts with me here.

Take care!

C

xo